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STRESS & COPING

What Can I Control?

When everything feels like a problem at once, it can help to separate what you can change from what you can’t.

Start with one stressful situation

Think about something that is taking up a lot of mental space right now. You do not need to solve it immediately. First, sort the pieces of the situation into three groups.

1. What I Can Control

These are things you can choose or act on directly.

Examples: what you say, how you respond, whether you ask for help, what you do next, how you spend your time, and the boundaries you set.

2. What I Can Influence

You may not control the outcome, but you can take actions that could help.

Examples: having a conversation, asking a question, offering support, making a request, preparing ahead, or sharing your concerns.

3. What I Cannot Control

These are things that may matter deeply but are not yours to control.

Examples: another person’s choices, the past, other people’s opinions, the weather, unexpected events, and outcomes that have not happened yet.

Now ask yourself:

What is one thing in the “I can control” column that I can do today?

Start there. You do not have to carry every part of the problem at the same time.

Want a printable copy?

Use the worksheet to sort out a stressful situation and identify one practical next step.

Print What Can I Control? →