HELPING SOMEONE

How to Check In With Someone

You do not need perfect words. A simple, caring conversation can let someone know they are noticed and supported.

Start with what you’ve noticed

Maybe someone seems quieter than usual, more irritable, withdrawn, overwhelmed, or just not quite like themselves. You do not have to know exactly what is wrong before checking in.

1. Choose a good moment

Find a time when you can talk privately and are not rushed. A quiet moment can make it easier for someone to answer honestly.

2. Say what you’ve noticed

Keep it simple and specific. You might say, “You haven’t seemed like yourself lately,” or “I’ve noticed you’ve been quieter than usual.”

3. Ask an open question

Try, “How are you really doing?” or “Is there anything going on that you want to talk about?”

4. Listen more than you talk

You do not have to fix the problem. Listen, avoid interrupting, and let them know you are taking them seriously.

5. Help them connect

If they need more support, help them think about who they could talk to next — a trusted person, healthcare provider, counselor, or other support.

6. Check back in

A follow-up text, call, or conversation can show that you meant it when you said you cared.

Try saying:

“I’ve noticed you don’t seem like yourself lately. I care about you, and I wanted to check in. How are you doing?”

If you’re worried about suicide

Ask directly if they are thinking about suicide. Call or text 988 for 24/7 crisis support. If someone is in immediate danger, call 911.

Want a printable copy?

Keep this conversation guide nearby when you want to reach out but are not sure what to say.

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